tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3144642540340842083.post6534427019541504258..comments2023-03-31T05:12:38.932-04:00Comments on Lanterns, Ladybugs and a Whole Lotta Love: Giving them up?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17867979951336974117noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3144642540340842083.post-73294586106492224092014-11-07T22:55:16.950-05:002014-11-07T22:55:16.950-05:00I respectfully disagree that adoption is only abou...I respectfully disagree that adoption is only about the children. I think it's about both parents and children, bringing them together into a family unit. I think both parents and children should be considered when making decisions. Cassandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09319901329438691914noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3144642540340842083.post-77038027929260711622014-11-04T03:18:48.859-05:002014-11-04T03:18:48.859-05:00I don't think it's that easy. What were t...I don't think it's that easy. What were the parents to do? They kept in touch, they did a DNA test. It was six months before they knew for certain. And then what follows? Should one family give up a daughter? Which one? Who decides? On what basis? And if not outright give up, then what? Should parents ship their very young daughter off to a foreign country to live for months at a time with people who are effectively strangers to them? Most parents are a bit wary of sending their child to a sleepover three streets over. What do the Hansens and the Hauglums really know about each other? Their values? Their views on the care and discipline of children?<br /><br />I'd say that the parents did - are doing - all that can reasonably be expected.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3144642540340842083.post-10203451797143811282014-11-03T20:26:13.037-05:002014-11-03T20:26:13.037-05:00They didn't have to be removed from the home a...They didn't have to be removed from the home after a connection had been formed. The families thought the girls were twins before the adoptions were finalized. Of course that sibling bond that existed before birth had a greater hold on the girls while their parents were still strangers to them, and that sibling relationship should have been respected. Additionally, a split custody arrangement could have been made. Of course these aren't convenient for the parents, but that is the sacrifice the parents should have been willing to make since, after all, adoption is about the children NOT the parents. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3144642540340842083.post-47805061460759594512014-11-03T17:11:01.822-05:002014-11-03T17:11:01.822-05:00That's much how I see it, too.That's much how I see it, too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3144642540340842083.post-17410817838829768452014-11-03T10:59:29.596-05:002014-11-03T10:59:29.596-05:00To be honest, when I started reading your post, op...To be honest, when I started reading your post, option #4 never even came to mind. I shrink back even at the thought of a parent giving up their child so that siblings can be together. That's placing the relationship of sibling above the relationship with parent. I would think that causing added abandonment issues to a child so that they can keep a sibling (that they may or may not have even known in the orphanage!) is a disservice to the child. I've read some children's files who state they have siblings in the system but rarely see the siblings or never see them. This is probably the case with a lot of the children who have been adopted. Why cause additional trauma of separating the child from the parent they've attached to?Cassandrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09319901329438691914noreply@blogger.com