Home

After nearly thirty hours and three airplane rides, we're home.  Both sets of grandparents, uncle, aunt, big cousin, and friends were waiting at the airport.  How nice to get such a warm welcome home!  Caroline did pretty well on the plane rides, especially the long flight from Beijing to Detroit.  A small group of professional dancers was on the plane next to Chrystal, and Caroline charmed them.  She also picked up a few dance moves; they urged that we get her into dance lessons as soon as possible.

I want to say a word or two about airport officials.  While I resent being patted down, questioned, scanned, and otherwise treated like a convict in Supermax, I have to say that at least the Chinese are rather more pleasant about it than our own TSA and ICE (or whatever it's called this week).  Yes, ICE got us processed pretty quickly in Detroit, but they were pretty grim about it.  The Chinese cops at least would crack a smile, especially at Caroline.

As we'd feared, Caroline is still on China time and woke us up at 4:00a.  She's quickly getting more used to the dogs; Mallory especially has been very good with her (as predicted, Sheepdog just sort of ignores her).  Caroline succeeded in using a sippy cup and a spoon, though much practice is needed.  She found more success in just grabbing her oatmeal... and smearing it all over her face.  Sigh... I'm told that this is normal for small children.




Who needs a spoon when you've got fingers???

Incidentally, her high chair was used by myself, my brother, our father and his older sister.


It's so great to be home.

Consulate

What an anticlimax.

We got up early this morning, which was rather hard on my wife as she's picked up either an allergy or a upper respiratory infection and can hardly sleep for coughing.  Put on "nice" clothes, including an adorable little sailor dress for Caroline.  A long-sleeve and pants is murder in this heat and humidity, let me tell you.  Oh, we were told to bring passport and AT MOST a small, clear bag with a change of diaper and maybe a snack.  No stroller, no diaper bag, no cell phone, not even a wristwatch.  Security kabuki.  Bah.

The line outside the consulate was enormous: there must have been a few hundred Chinese there, waiting to apply for a visa to come to our country.  As we were doing adoption, we went through the short line.  After waiting for a bit while other families arrived, we were sworn in.  Never swore an oath that starts with, "By affixing my thumbprint, I swear..." followed by a lot of rubbish about filling out all the forms we've done over the past eighteen months correctly.  Again, bah.

Then back to the hotel.

While Chrystal was resting in the room (i.e. praying for death), Caroline and I walked to the nearby Liuhuahu Park.  Allow me to say that crossing a busy street in China is not for the faint of heart as the average Chinese driver would be locked away in a home for the criminally insane back home: if the light turns green while one is in the middle of the intersection, he'd better hope that his guardian angel is on the job, or he'll be a pancake in VERY short order.  Trust me on this.

After a narrow escape from a speeding Toyota, we made it into the park.  Beautiful; I'll have to post pics later.  There is a small chain of lakes there; the grounds are manicured.  There is even a small rose garden, a gift from the city of Frankfort am Main.

After a very pleasant stroll, I took our two lives back in my hands and crossed the street.  Feeling peckish and suspecting that Caroline was, too, I stepped into Macau Street Restaurant, where Caroline and I split a large dish of chicken curry.  And I do mean "split" as the little swine ate about half as much as I did, crying if I didn't shovel it in as fast as she wanted.  I should add that, had I known that curry tastes so well, I'd have made it a regular part of my diet long since.  A quick stop at the 7-11 for chips and drinks for Chrystal, and back we came.

In all, a pretty nice afternoon with my daughter.

Guangzhou

While China has in general been pretty nice (the Chinese are very easy to like: friendly, open and just plain likable), travel has been anything but.  We arrived at the airport in Wuhan in plenty of time, checked in, and had a bite of dinner.  Got to the gate... and waited.  And waited.  Turns out that bad weather over Guangzhou was causing flights to stack up.  We boarded about an hour or so late... and waited.  And waited.  When they served dinner while we were still at the gate, I knew were for in for it.  A nice lady sitting in front of us gave us a pack of crackers for the children (like I said: the Chinese are very likable), and Caroline was quite well-behaved.  The same, I'm sorry to say, cannot be said for ol' Baba, who was ready to slaughter somebody for making us sit on the airplane.

Finally, sanity prevailed and they put us back in the terminal.  We waited for another hour or so, then boarded again.  I thought we were in for another hour or two, but the aircraft finally pushed back, and we were on our way.  Bumpy ride: they apparently weren't kidding about the weather.  We got to GZ at about 1:30am, frazzled and with a pack of fractious, exhausted children in tow.  Got to the hotel, got Caroline's head down, took quick showers, and passed out for a few hours.

Happily, the breakfast buffet at the China Hotel is everything people said that it is.  My only complaint is the coffee: it's good, but not up to Wuhan standards.  Further, it's served in small cups that are brewed individually.  Now, I appreciate the effort, but I need LOTS of coffee in the morning, so I'd prefer that they brewed a pot and gave us large mugs.  Oh, well... You take what you can get.

After a good breakfast, it was off to the health check up.  MADHOUSE!  A couple of dozen American families from several different agencies along with Chinese who were also trying to get health checkups.  Fortunately, the staff both of our agency and of the medical facility were first rate and got us all hustled through the process.  While waiting for the bus to go back to the hotel, I got my first look at GZ.  It is clearly more tropical than Wuhan.  The air is cleaner and the city greener, but the humidity... North Carolina can be bad, but it's not a patch on GZ.  I also have the impression that the people here are definitely smaller than in Wuhan; I am at least a half-head taller than even the tallest men I've seen, and this was not the case in Wuhan where many of the women were nearly as tall as I am.

We've met many other American families here; it's a large group.  I even bumped into a proud new adoptive father from Madrid, Spain.  In our group, we've got folks from Alaska, Connecticut, Indiana, Illinois, Florida, Tennessee, Georgia, Missouri, Ohio, Kansas, California and even a family that lives here in China (and those are the ones that I can remember).  It's really a remarkable thing: people from all over America adopting children from all over China.

Caroline continues to do well.  She's becoming more inquisitive and active: she likes to walk around, holding on to a finger for balance.  She babbles and jabbers a lot.  As noted in her reports, she has a ready smile.  And has she got a temper!  When she's crossed, as she was when I thought she needed to settle down before bed, she can throw a tantrum with the best of them.  We let her cry that one out: she needs to learn that a tantrum will get her exactly nothing from us.  We've found that she will sleep soundly in her crib, but we've got to get her fast asleep in the bed with us first.  She cries when one of us leaves the room, but that's getting better.  And she LOVES to dance.  While I was doing paperwork downstairs, she apparently was rocking out to Ke$ha in the room.  My wife got some very funny video of this; I'll try to post it later.

Caroline also has a very healthy appetite and likes some surprising foods.  We ordered pizza from Papa Johns (!), and she just reached right into the box and helped herself.  We were amused but also glad to see this, as it was the first time she's really fed herself (we still have to give her liquids in a spoon, and she can put away some milk and apple juice).  She's learning to eat bacon and oatmeal and homefries.  She went absolutely nuts for the gan chau niu he (beef chow fun) that I had for lunch: I thought she was going to shove her face into the bowl.  After eating a good bit of my lunch, she ate about a third of Chrystal's hamburger and fries as well as some milk and spicy seafood soup and bread.  The diaper is going to be... interesting. 

We went to Shamian Island this morning and shopped.  We even bought a stroller, which we plan to donate to the agency people here for the use of future families when we leave as I really don't want to lug the thing on the airplane and, anyway, we've got one sitting at home.  We got silks and other knickknacks to put up for future birthdays and as gifts for some of our family members.  Taxis cabs are very cheap here, which is a good thing: it's about 40 yuan (ca. $7) to get to Shamian and back.  Not bad at all.  The agency was also kind enough to arrange laundry service for us, which was much appreciated as I was down to no clean clothes aside from an exercise shirt and shorts.

In all, so far, so good.  Our daughter is beautiful and smart and patient and funny.  God has been very good to us.

Random thoughts

There is so much to cover in just the few days that we've been here: China, Wuhan, adoption and, of course, our daughter.

CHINA / WUHAN - Our guide tells us that the Chinese have a saying: "If you want a fashionable address, go to Paris.  If you want a nice house, go to the States.  If you want to eat well, go to China." There is definitely something in this as the food I've eaten so far has ranged from the "that tastes pretty good" to the "I'm not sharing!"

--- As previously noted, the air is unbelievably bad.  We had to stop the older children in our group trying to catch raindrops in their mouths while we were out yesterday.  How even a blade of grass can survive here is a miracle.

--- NEVER play "chicken" with a Wuhan driver, because what we consider dangerous driving is a regular commute for them!  I may drop a line to Junior Johnson when I get back, as NASCAR would be as natural for these folks as swimming is for Hawaiians.

--- The people we've met have been quite nice and helpful.  My wife made eye contact with a little girl at the Carre Four and fell into easy conversation with the mother and grandmother.  Nice people.

--- The Yellow Crane Tower is worth a visit - even a day - in Wuhan.  Lovely grounds and gardens.  Apparently, there's a legend associated with it: a famous poet came to the site and wrote about its beauty (it overlooks the Yangtze River... or would do if one could see more than a few hundred yards).  Many years later, another poet came and, similarly moved, began his own ode.  People showed him the first author's work.  He read it and, realizing that his predecessor had said all that he himself felt, laid down his brush.  This famous act of humility and modesty is marked by a monument on the grounds.

ORPHANAGE - We went.  It was a kick in the gut.  I suppose that, as such places go, it is quite modern and well-equipped, with facilities for physical therapy and care for very sick / disabled children.  The children we saw looked well-dressed, well-fed and happy.  And yet... There is one little girl, about ten years old, who is considered too sick to be placed for adoption (very serious heart condition that the authorities fear would make air travel a death sentence).  She is lovely and bright.  And sad.  What family wouldn't be blessed with such a daughter?  Why does God allow this???

--- My wife was able to get some photos and video of a little boy whose family in America iscwaiting to bring him home.  She made them very happy.

--- We were scolded for not having Caroline in pants, jacket and socks despite the fact that all of us were wringing with sweat.  We were also admonished to keep her bundled up at night, A/C apparently being considered bad for a child's health.  Yes, the people at the orphanage care very, very much about the children.

CAROLINE - I've gone from thinking about gradvschool to thinking about the next thirty minutes!  She still cries, but last night was pretty good.  She sat on my lap while we ate: she likes french fries.  She LOVES fish.  Sometimes, she feeds us.  A smile is like Christmas.  She's so beautiful.  When she's upset, carrying her up and down the room helps calm her down.  We think that she was definitely the baby in the house as she likes (expects?) to be carried everywhere.

--- We learned that being spoon-fed liquids is a trick of her foster mother's to help with healing the cleft lip repair.  Seems to have worked as both my daughter and her foster sister have hardly-noticable repairs.

--- She likes to mimic me, whether it's facial expressions, noises or banging cups together.  Guess I'm really going to have to watch my mouth! 

--- Getting her down for the night is not easy: if she's not completely out cold, she'll have a meltdown when she realizes that she's in the crib.  I collect that not wanting to go to bed is normal for children, so I don't fret.

--- We think it will be only a matter of weeks if not days before she's walking.  Then we'll have to be on our toes!

--- Despite her height (and she is nearly as tall as the other adoptees in our group), she's got tiny feet and hands.

It hit

The other shoe dropped last night.  Dinner at a busy restaurant, a trip to the Carre Four (think WalMart) and being out later than we liked seems to have driven it home to Caroline that the people she's with aren't going away... and Mama ain't coming back.  She melted down at bathtime and started screaming, "Aaaaah-ma!" at the top of her (remarkably big, powerful) lungs.  My wife finally got her soothed (I was completely at sea on what to do), only to have it start back this morning.

Part of me is actually relieved: if she didn't mourn, I'd be forced to conclude that she is a psychopath. Crying for the woman who has so obviously loved her for the past sixteen months is normal and healthy.

Still, I think that we have considerable cause for relief.  Caroline likes to be held by us, will readily be fed by us, and will sometimes smile and giggle at us.  I hope that a few more days will end her grieving... and all we'll have to deal with is teething (oh, yes: she's got a couple of nice, big, jagged molars erupting) and being gassy / hung up.

One day at a time... Scratch that: I'm becoming content to take it thirty minutes at a time.

At last

First impressions

We arrived after nearly thirty-six hours of travel.  The flight over was misery due to seats that would be better off in a torture chamber than on a modern airliner.  Food on the aircraft was good; service was decent.  But those seats...

A few things leap out so far:

1.  The air quality is unbelievable.  Even at 3:00p, visibility can't have been above 1/4 mile, and was probably less than that.  What will their lung disease and birth defect rates be like in five or ten years???

2.  The city is tidy (little or no litter) but dingy.  Everything looks dirty

3.  The people have been friendly so far.  How they stare!  One young lady even took a photo of my (blonde) wife and paid her some nice compliments about her looks.  She ought to see my wife when she's not totally fagged out from travel, stress and want of sleep

4.  It's nice to see other people out with their children.  Two young ladies were trying to fly kites with their kids, which was hard due to a want of wind.  Out guide, "Bill", stepped in and helped out.  The kids enjoyed it.  He has done such a good job so far, gently keeping everybody on track and together.  He's very good with the children...

Perhaps I should digress here and write a few words about our fellow travelers.  The B family, who are adopting our daughter's foster sister, are Californians who've brought their three children.  Little K is an adorable girl; the two boys, N and L, are 100% boy, full of fun and energy.  The E family are Alaskans who've brought their son.  Like N and L, he is 100% boy, at full throttle every second.  I can see that I will have to get myself into much better shape just to keep up with my own daughter!

At any rate, the kids have taken right to Bill, who is himself the father of a nineteen year-old daughter.

5.  Bill arranged lunch for us in quite a nice restaurant today: we had a private dining room.  He ordered for us, so we ate in the Chinese style of shared dishes.  DELICIOUS.  I ate everything set before me, even the green stuff.  I told Bill that I wouldn't touch Chinese food as a boy, that I was scared of it (I didn't say that I grew up thinking that it was all cat and dog).  Well, THAT problem has been permanently solved!

6.  The people in general are, as expected, much slighter of build than most Americans.  They are not especially shorter, however, and we have seen some rather tall people.  Both of us look at little girls on the streets and wonder if Caroline will look that way in a few years

7.  I so wish that I had studied my Mandarin harder.  It humiliates me to be unable to speak politely to the people here, or even make basic desires known.  I know that I butch up what I try to say, and that makes me even more shy about trying.  Well, I get what I deserve.  Laziness is such a bad habit.

In all, I'm very glad that I'm here.  I don't say that I love the country, but I think that I could easily learn to do so.  I so, so, so much regret that things are as they are between our two countries.  There's no good reason for it.  There's no good reason that our country and China shouldn't get on as well as we do with Canada or Japan or even France.  I hope that, in some tiny way, our visit will help that.  Certainly there is one more American who desires peace and real friendship with China, who wants hands across the Pacific and not angry or even suspicious looks.